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When I got there, I was coming down from a pretty irreverent sex life in the Big Apple. So basically, I was horny all the time.

I moved into a condominium which was like living on Pluto or some planet where I was the only inhabitant. My new condo had an elevator, a gym downstairs, two bathrooms, and a dishwasher.

The dishwasher fascinated and terrified me at the same time. Sometimes her nightly chore would be to load that dishwasher.

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In my 20s, living in NYC, it was easy to avoid ever having to interface with a dishwasher. The fact that I now lived with one in my kitchen scared the crap out of me.

How did they work? Were there little scrubbers or mechanical arms in there?