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How to tell if you are being used

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True love and commitment are rare to find but most of us spend a good portion of our time trying to seek out that comfort zone that only comes with a relationship. A lot of times relationships are not based on love at all but are these called casual?

Often we have no idea...

That is why a majority of the relationships end, as they might not always be based on two people genuinely being interested in each other but two people who are just trying each other out. This could be due to several reasons: So if you are ready to take off the love goggles and see if your relationship is made up in your mind or not, here it goes! Love is not the butterflies in your stomach or the hormones surging through your veins for the evolutionary purpose of mating.

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The key ingredient for love is mutual respect. If your relationship is abusive in any manner, it is as good as nonexistent.

And if you think having an upper hand over your women by playing games, you are no better! Sometimes all our minds want is the challenge, so are you really into this person or is the fact that this person emotionally unavailable that draws you towards them?

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A lot of people get very sucked How to tell if you are being used into this fascination and build something in their head that is completely nonexistent for the other person. The only time you should consider being involved with an emotionally unavailable person is when you are emotionally unavailable as well, and you two are mature enough to understand what casual actually means. At least men are practical in this situation since they know how temporary the effects of such formulas are.

You cannot manipulate someone into falling in love with you by withholding and rationing physical and emotional intimacy. The people who actually have success stories are the ones who would naturally go about dating in the same manner even if they were not introduced to these set of rules.

Because that is who they really are, and who they really are is what the other person is falling for. There are two kinds of people who construct an obscure illusion of love: For the kind of teenagers who post updates of their current emotional state on social media rather than talking to the person they are dating, relationships are mostly to show off or to have a false sense of having someone in their lives.

Men have a similar thing too when they wish to date models or cheerleaders. The thing that they forget is that this is a fellow human being and there is a lot more to them than what they do for a living.

If that person dates you, they deserve more than just being a trophy for you to feel better about yourself! A lot of adults do the same thing when they start looking out for someone to marry, they run around with a list of qualities and traits that they desire in their partner that will make them feel good while introducing their partner to someone else.

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Years later, you will see the same people hanging out in bars, bitching about how stupid marriages are, cheating on their partners on every possible occasion and going through messy divorces. If you look at them like a trophy, your relationship is as fake as it can get!

"If you are being used,...

Now people might meet online and have lasting relationships but compare the number of people who meet online and the ones who find love. If you meet someone on a site that helps you find How to tell if you are being used single people living near you and your entire relationship is limited to chats and hooking up, do I even have to explain what is going on here?

Technology is great but our end game is not to become robots, there are primitive things like face to face human interaction and intimacy that will never go out of fashion.

It is also easier to lie on a text. Meeting up and talking over the phone are not outdated or stupid. Just like how women can keep men on emotional leashes while physically friend zoning them, men can have intimate relationships with women while emotionally friend zoning them.

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There is no point fighting this. If he introduces you to people as a friend than no matter how much you confuse your physical intimacy with emotional intimacy, that is what you are, a friend!

Is there such a thing as unconditional love

People assume that spending every waking moment with their partner doing trivial romantic things is actually healthy. If your partner is your only interest, hobby and even source of income, some people might make How to tell if you are being used run for it the day they realize how real healthy relationships should function. There are couples that fight, and then there are whack job dysfunctional people who destroy the faith in love for everyone around them.

If you know only one of the partners, you imagine the other one to be a complete monster and if you know both of them, all you wish for is them to break up.

If every person you come in contact with knows how horrible your fights are and if they keep on circling around the same subjects as you howl over and over again for the same reason instead of issues that come to end after a few healthy discussion, your relationship is crack. I know a lot of people who are corporate lawyers, partners, doctors and others who have demanding jobs that take up more than half of their day but even they take out time for the people they love.

A lot of times people date someone just because they are hot. Everyone knows that there is absolutely nothing in common between these two and the attraction is the only thing that keeps them going. The thing How to tell if you are being used that they are not just lying to others but even themselves about their feelings.

Attraction is a strong force; it creates an illusion in the mind for liking everything about a person that you would normally hate. Imagine for a second if you met someone of the same gender who had the exact same personality as your partner, would you be great friends or would you punch them in the face?

You’re afraid to say no

You cannot love someone if you completely despise their personality. A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Reblogged this on imade and commented: Read my mind in every way! Your love is one-sided.

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